bitterness

i hope YOU read this


right now...
:( how will i F*ck!n start....

well read this first...
i'll try my best to share my feelings after

-________-
i revised demi lovato's song don't forget
into the version where the singer was the one who "forgot"


-________-

i won't forget
with you i was alive
i won't forget
everything that we had
i won't forget
i won't forget
About you

Did i regret (i don't regret)
Ever standing by your side
Did i forget (did i forget)
What what i was feeling inside
i'm leaving you to forget
About us

somewhere i went wrong
what i felt was once so strong
my love was like a song
you can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
i don't regret
Ever holding your hand
Never again
i won't forget
won't forget


i had it all
i was just about to fall
Even more in love
Than i was before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere i felt wrong
what i felt was once so strong
my love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere this felt wrong
We were once so strong
my love was like a song
You can't forget it
At all

we couldn't last
most of the feelings have been burned
And all the past
will be a lesson that we'll learn
I won't forget
i won't forget us

But somewhere i was wrong
my love was like a song
But i can't sing along
guess i've forgotten
About
us
-________-


:[
...after singing that
i feel so sad ,, 'cause whether i like it or not
i can't get the old feeling back..
i don't know if it's the distance or what
but this is how i feel...
i feel like i need to break up...
with him...
'cause ... i don't know
it's just not the same
i feel like
i want to hang out with my friends and have fun with them
than with him....
:(
this is just freakin' great right

.... oh well.....
you know, he's the type who abides by the rules,
which is an opposite of me...
and my type of fun, is sometimes different from HIS fun...
and even sometimes, he just doesn't want me to do my fun,,
not that he directly tells me that don't do this don't do THAT
but it's like ,,, he says things that .. how do i say this..
i want to do things and he allows me to do it, but he says after "please don't do it" !
so i'm like, if i do it, i can't do it without a clear conscience cause i know he doesn't like it
but I like it
also, when were texting, he just doesn't sound so exciting and excited for that matter
and when i dont reply for a minute or two, he looks for me
which irritates me a bit because CANT HE WAIT
and when i'm with my friends, and i don't reply like that, he tells me
"busy? cge, enjoy there"
and like, i feel so bad that I'M having fun and he is not
i feel obliged to reply immediately though he tells me it's fine that i dont
and i HATE that feeling
i just want to do what i want without having to hurt anyone
without having anyone wait for me...
this sucks...
like last night,me and bf were texting and i was with nicole (one of my good best friends who i used to have a lot of fun breaking the rules with), rio(my highschool batchmate and good friend), and ronan(which used to be my ultimate crush and i told my boyfriend that).
i feel like he was jealous because i was with my crush before, even if he doesn't tell me that, i feel it. but i think, what's wrong with hanging with a couple of friends, it's just fun
and he also hates it when i join in on conference calls,
but I want to, he doesn't like it when i sleep late.
and i want to...
i just PLAIN SUCKS!

*and SORRY isn't what i need anymore...
and you don't really have to say that.
don't ask so many questions of WHY...
please don't make it harder than it already is*


:(
i feel so unfair..
but that is that...
i'd rather say this than lie...
it's so hard too that some people cheer us on when what i'm feeling isn't the same anymore....
i don't even know if telling him i love him is right because... you know... it doesn't feel right...